The One With What You Will

Whatever pops out from my head at this moment of time…

I hate reptiles. I hate spiders. I hate worms. I hate insects, and of all the insects, I hate cockroaches the most. I hate them even more when they fly. I hate their gliding movement flight. I always get a sudden panicked attack each time I see the lipas flying around or near me. I hate seeing them walking chaotically on the floor  let alone  seeing them on the wall, on the door, on top of the cabinet or on the chair rest. And what are with their legs? Are they hairy or thorny? You can not really tell, can you?  But, thankfully, I have ten (yeah, you read that right – T.E.N) cats at home. My cats are the cockroach predators. At least I am doing my part in saving Mother Nature in not using aerosol (pat on the shoulder, good job Nani). These little brown creatures can make me easily loose my reasoning. I watched Joe’s Apartment few years back, and it gave me nightmares.

It is a sad scenario to hear, to see or to read divorce rates are increasing each year. What happened to the sanctity of a marriage? I, for one, truly believe that a marriage is an instituition that needs to be protected. It seems to me, these days people  are swapping husbands and wives like undergarments. I opined humans nowadays do not exactly understand the fundamental attitude in married life order to achieve sanctity. When one is captivated; it is love. On the other hand, when it is enmity; it is irreconcilable differences.

How shallow can a person be? If a girl is fat, she is ugly. If the girl is thin, she is sexy. If one saw a picture of a person (let say in Facebook), “See, see so and so got acne on so and so face”, “Come, come, see this picture of so and so. Look got wrinkles on so and so face”, “So hairy la so and so hand” “So and so is fat. How can so and so wear that and uploaded the picture” and the list goes on and on. Why does one need to timid another just to boost own esteem? Our brains are being programmed that if a person acquired certain criteria as showed in magazines, televisions and internet, that person is beautiful. In contrast, if a person is overweight or does not have a fair skin, automatically that person fell in the despicable category. Are we, ourselves, have a perfect flawless skin? Are we, ourselves, have a sublime body measurement? It is undeniable as human beings, we love to see beautiful commodities, but beauty is a very subjective matter. One may point of view a person is unattractive, another may disagree. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they said it. I may not have the power to change the universe mindset, as the phrase goes, you can bring the horse to the water, but you can not force the horse to drink. People are variety. Some maybe lucky than others, but one can not have everything in life. I affirm no matter what physical appearance one acquired, how one carry oneself is more important. Besides, there are so many other imperative issues to think about other than physical appearances.

They say, it is better , in anything you do, to obtain blessings from the elders, specifically own parents. But what if, in your own mental analysis, they are not good parents. Not all parents are good parents or else there will not be cases of child abuse by self blood guardians.  Should you still must have their blessings? For example, you were so eager to climb the corporate ladder after graduating from a university. Unfortunately, your parents disapproved your plan to work in a private sector. They prefer you to work in the government division. For obvious reasons, working with the government is more stable, there will not be cases of retrenchment and there will be pension. Ought you let go your arrangement just because you did not get the blessing that you were hoping for from your parents? If you did, and it did not work out for you, are you going to use the lame reason in blaming your parents for not giving the blessing that you expected? Another instance. You found your significant other, and you contemplate in marrying him or her. To your dismay, your parents rejected your wish, and only God knows the reason why, they refuse to grant the honour. Will you discard the other person, whom you may happily grow old together? I am not suggesting for you to be rude to your parents. But, must we gain their blessings to succeed in life? Are we not allowed to grow, to make mistakes, to fall, to lesson learn by ourselves? Is it not that if you were ambitious, have a good heart and persistent would make you go far in life? As daughters or sons, are we labelled as anak derhaka just because we are a bit stubborn in charting own life; for ignoring our parents’ blessings? Parents are deemed to love their children unconditionally, to give support and encouragement no matter what the choices their children chose, are they not?

In my heart, there is a huge soft spot for animals, particularly cats. I am strongly against cruelty to animals. I am opposed wearing fur, exotic animal skin handbags, using animals as experiments, eating turtles’ eggs and animals used in traditional medicine. I am an active member of WWF, RSPCA and PETA.

The indicators are there for a reason, use them if you want to change lanes while driving. A driver who tailgating another driver is a dangerous act. I hate Malaysian drivers who cut queues sesuka hati, who jumping lane from far right lane to the most left lane, who tekan gila-gila only to corner at the nearest, who made excessive modification to the car (Hello!!! Berpijak di bumi yang nyata. Kalau dah Proton Wira tu, Proton Wira lah), yang dengki (especially mamat-mamat kutu brahak) seeing me driving My Baby’s Nissan Silvia S15 (surely nak cucuk-cucuk, nak ajak test powerBODOH) and those intoxicated by alcohol drivers. The hazard signal is only to be used when the vehicle is in stationary mode. The motorists are no different either. Since when can motorcycles use the fast lane? And the Superbikes, do you think you are riding Batcycle, is it?!?! Do not get me started with the Mat Rempits. They are really nuisance. I generalized Malaysian drivers are impatient, rude, inconsiderate and alarming.

I have learnt over the years, anger does not help in any situation. Being angry only impairs the ability to process information and to exert cognitive control over behavior. Anger results in aggression. Anger outcomes harsh words. Anger only makes it more depressing than it should be. Anger reduces the capacity of heart to pump blood and damages heart muscles. Being angry will lead to lack of concentration. As I matured, I feel life is too short to fill in with anger.

To me, good fences do make good neighbours.

I may not be the best author in the whole world, but I do like to write. I do enjoy note down my feelings, my thoughts, my opinions, my voice, my personal observations and my personal experiences, even they do not make any sense at all.

My own ordeal taught me the need to be a street smart, the importance of having self respect, the importance of acquiring a strong will to survive, the divine of forgiveness, to think the consequences of own actions, to be firm of own standing, to learn the hard way and to always take the time to hear birds chirping. My life is not always a bed of roses. I was not brought up from a silver spoon family.I used to be a spoil brat. I know what how it feels to be betrayed. I know how it feels to have a heartache. I know what loneliness is, to cry alone. I have my own insecurities. I know how it feels like to be rejected. I know how it feels like to be in rock bottom.  At the moment, I am still fighting to win, to be cured from the sickness that I need to endure. At times, I fell. At times, I succeeded. At times, I am emotionally drained. At times, my mental weakens. It is not an easy peasy being me. No matter what may come my way, I refrain myself to stay frail. And no matter how many times my heart blisters, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings…

But there is a secret garden, she hides…

~Nani Mansor~





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